When A Lover Communicates

Lord?  Open my heart to hear every time you whisper, every time you sigh, or groan or utter my name; every time you entreat me to do something or simply tell me of your love.  I don’t want to miss any of your endearments – or your displeasure either.  I want to sit still with you and simply enjoy the silence of our communion.  I want to hear your Words and I want to hear what you say in our silence together.  I want to feel your love in our silent communion, in the way you touch my life each moment of every day.

I’ll never forget that when we first met I never loved you.  I wasn’t even attracted to you.  I’d heard of you but took you for granted.  And I was tired of hearing people sing your praises.  Yet you loved me long before I even knew you.  You planned how to meet me. You yearned for my companionship, and longed for the day when it would finally dawn on me that you existed; longed for the day when I would stop taking you for granted and really SEE you as a person in your own right.  I would stop ignoring your obvious attempts to get close to me; stop snubbing and cold-shouldering you: when with the light of new love in my eyes I would smile at you . . . .

Oh, the bitter-sweet pain of unrequited love!  You were devoted to me in spite of my callousness.  You took delight in giving me pleasant surprises.  You paved my way wherever you thought it would do me good. You did many thoughtful things for me, but – gentleman that you are – you kept your distance: my secret admirer!  And yet at the same time your love for me was no secret.  Ever after you “showed your hand” you left me in no doubt of how you felt about me.

Our life together has been stormy at times, but it is the gift of the rich heritage of your love through the ages that has kept me on even keel.  It has prevented me from terminating the relationship altogether!  At the times when I feel like leaving you, the memories come flooding back: memories of your aggreived wrath mixed with unselfish tenderness. . . of your yearning for the company of those you dearly love – of your brokenheartedness over the estrangement; of your gracious and untiring forgiveness. . . .

It is true that sometimes the fire of my love for you flickers in the winds of “busy-ness”, distraction, worry, complacency and resulting estrangement. But if my fire seems to go out it is comforting to realize that you know me  intimately enough to understand that there are  always deeply smouldering embers of love and longing for you in the very depths of my frail human soul . . . and that I’ll always keep  coming back to you.

© Grace V. Peart
14th October, 1988

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